Thursday, 5 March 2015
An influential event
The most influential event in my life would be my time in House Committees in junior college. Before that, I was shy and introverted, I never dared to try new things because I was afraid of failure and I felt that people would judge me. But running for House Committees meant that I had to put myself out there, and not be afraid of the judgement that people may have, to gain votes. I remembered shamelessly asking strangers to cast their votes for, it was something I would never have done previously. It was during my time in House Committees where I realized, I should not be afraid of failure and I would never know what I can if I do not try. Hence, my two years in House Committees gave me my closest group of friends who helped me grow as a person, and also cured me of my fear of failure and made me a more outgoing person.
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a.What do you think about the event described?
ReplyDelete- I think the event described is quite influential and could truly be your turning point in life.
b. Does this post strike you as having been written “with heart” or not? How can you justify your answer. Explain in your feedback.
- A little. It is good that you explained how you felt and the fears you had and how influential it is in your life, yet, I feel that you may have glossed over some parts which does not make it that sincere.
Nevertheless, overall a good post on an influential event in your life. I'm shocked to know that you were shy and introverted because you certainly don't seem that way now :)
sue anne
a)What do you think about the event described?
ReplyDeleteI could empathize with the resistance of stepping out of your comfort zone and to do something that you thought that you might never have to do.
b)Does this post strike you as having been written “with heart” or not? How can you justify your answer. Explain in your feedback.
By confessing your fear prior to joining the House committee and how your participation in the committee had helped and changed you made your essay more personal and heartfelt.
a.What do you think about the event described?
ReplyDelete- I think the event described is quite influential as it is truly based on your life experience and sounds encouraging.
b. Does this post strike you as having been written “with heart” or not? How can you justify your answer. Explain in your feedback.
- I think the post is written with heart because there are few parts which describe the feeling of person,like how the person feel nervous and fearful. It will be better if add in more detail which describe how your feeling exactly change during the event. ( eg: fearful→nervous→release→satisfied,,,,,) ^W^
Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDelete